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Conservatives plan to resurrect public support by creating new Bank Holiday to ‘watch soaps’.

Boris Johnson and his cabinet have today suggested a plan to allow the public a bank holiday to catch up on EastEnders and Coronation street.

The plan, which will ask the cast of both soap operas to film feature length episodes, has been called the ‘best way to reinstate faith in the government’. 

Johnson, who himself has never watched a soap opera, said earlier: “I was amazed, Ms Patel told me there’s this type of telebob show that common people watch, where families engage in outlandish activities including murder and adultery, I’m told it’s extremely popular” 

Leader of the House of Commons, Jacob Reese-Mog said: “the best way to get these poor people to stay indoors is to fill their screen with uneducated garbage that they so adore, it’s a double whammy, the fools think we’re giving them a day off, which they’ll love because they’re lazy, and we get to keep them locked in doors to keep the virus down, they’ll adore us AND keep that virus from spreading to us”

The bank holiday would be in late January. Johnson plans to use the the time off to travel to Mauritius, where he plans on staying in a £5,000 a night resort for up to 4 weeks, greatly exceeding the two days off to watch telly.

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